


Everything Has Changed

by YamiAki96



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Believed Character Death, Confusion, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, mentions of amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-15 01:46:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4588341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YamiAki96/pseuds/YamiAki96
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>REWRITE OF "THE ONLY THING THAT STAYS THE SAME"  </p><p>Anon asked: (Hi!) Prompt: can you write something like Cas and Dean were married and seemingly epically in love but Dean disappears. Eventually, Cas accepts he’s dead and moves on with their friend Crowley, on the down low. After a couple of years, Dean reappears and Crowley devastated because he thinks Cas will want to pick up where things left off with Dean. Cas, on the other hand, feels really guilty because wants to be with Crowley.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Castiel reached out and grabbed the phone that was ringing on the bedside table. The sun wasn't even up yet who called people this early?

“Hello?” He answered groggily, nestling back into his pillow.

“Cas?” Sam sounded confused. Well, that’s what he gets for calling at the crack of dawn, Castiel decided.

“Yeah. What’s up?”

“Why do you have Crowley’s phone?” Cas sat up, fully awake now.

“We must have gotten our phones mixed up at the resturant last night. We were all a little drunk. I’ll tell him that you called.” He hung up and threw the phone away like it was its fault. Beside him, Crowley laughed.

“Shut up. What would you have said?” Cas groused. Crowley pulled him back down into the blankets and kissed him lightly.

“I would have told hiem you were sleeping right next to me because we went home together. Like we have been for nearly two years,” Crowley said, kissing Castiel’s neck. Cas sighed and tilted his head.

“We should tell them,” Cas said, running his fingers through Crowley’s hair. Crowley looked up at him, surprised.

“Really?”

“It’s been five years. I think I’m ready to move on.”

“If you’re sure,” Crowley said, running his thumb over Cas’s cheek. Cas nodded.

“We’ll invite everyone over and tell them tonight.”

“Alright. I’ll bring the wine.” Crowley kissed him again, then got out of bed. Castiel watched as he got dressed then sat up to kiss him goodbye before he drove home to change for work.

With nothing else to do, Castiel got out of bed and went to make coffee. He paused at his dresser and picked up the only framed picture that was there. His and Dean’s wedding photo.

Castiel and Dean met when they started high school. They started dating when they were sixteen and were married before Castiel turned twenty two. They bought a small but nice house in town that sat an equal distance from the library where Castiel worked and the garage Dean had opened the year before. They had a perfect marriage for four years and were talking about adopting a baby when Dean disappeared.

He had gone on a trip to a few towns over where they were holding a classic car show. He was hoping that he could drum up some business while he showed off his baby. Castiel hadn’t been able to get off of work so he’d had to go by himself. He never came home.

Castiel had been a wreck. He called the police both in Lawrence and in the town where Dean had been, but there was no record of him after he checked out of his hotel room. There hadn’t been any accidents, he wasn’t in either of the hospitals, he was just gone.

The police tolerated Castiel’s constant phone calls and visits to the station more out of pity than belief that they would find Dean. Castiel knew what they were thinking every time one of them smiled sadly at him, that they had gotten married too young and that Dean realized he wasn’t ready to be married, but they were wrong. Something had happened to him and Castiel had to find him.

The days had slowly turned into months, then into years. Castiel tried not to give up hope, but the light was getting dimmer every day. He had started to withdraw from their group of friends as he became more an more depressed.

They all dropped in on him from time to time to make sure that he was still alive. Some of them would bring food and made sure that he ate a little before they would leave.

Crowley always brought alcohol. He never tried to make Castiel talk about what he was feeling, sometimes they never said a word, others they would talk for hours.

One night, three years after Dean’s disappearance and half way through a bottle of wine, Castiel had kissed Crowley and cried for the rest of night.

After several weeks of debating with himself, he’d kissed him again. And again. They began a tentative relationship that became stronger every day.

“I still miss you,” He whispered, tracing Dean’s face with his fingertips. “But it’s been so long and I’m tired of being alone and lying to everyone. I love you.”

During his lunch break, Castiel called around and asked everyone if they wanted to have dinner together and they all agreed to be his place at seven. He spent the rest of the day in a nervous haze, worried about how everyone would react to the news that he had not only moved on from Dean, but that he and Crowley had been seeing each other behind their backs.

When he got home that evening, he took a long, hot shower to calm himself before he started cooking. He got so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice that Crowley was there until he wrapped his arms around him, causing him to jump.

“Relax,” Crowley said, pressing a soft kiss to his neck. “You’re not confessing to murder.”

“I’m just worried about how they’ll all react. I mean, it’s been five years, but…”

“You’re allowed to be happy, Castiel.” Cas nodded and tilted his head so that he could kiss Crowley properly. “Will you set the table?”

“Of course. It all smells delicious, by the way.”

“Thank you.”

Everyone started to arrive just as Castiel was pulling the garlic bread from the oven. He wasn’t the best cook, but he could manage spaghetti. The girls all hugged him, happy that he was finally opening back up to them.

The evening was filled with laughter, much like they used to be. Castiel had to keep himself from leaning into Crowley multiple times. When everyone’s plates were pretty much empty he cleared his throat.

“I have something I want to tell you all,” He said. “I’ve been worried about how you’ll all take it all day so I’m just going to put it out there. Crowley and I have been seeing each other for several months.”

Everyone as quiet for a long moment. Castiel started to worry that they all hated him before Sam spoke up.

“That’s great Cas,” He said, giving him a little smile.

“Really?" Castiel never would have imagined that his brother-in-law would be the first to accept his new relationship.

“Yeah. I mean, Dean’s been missing for five years and you've been miserable up until now. We all just want you to be happy.” Everyone agreed and Castiel’s hand found Crowley’s under the table.

“Thank you, guys. I–” the doorbell cut him off. Everyone looked at him, confused. Castiel stood. “I’ll be right back”

He opened the door, expecting a lost person looking for directions or a neighbor that needed to borrow something. The polite smile on his face faded to shock when he saw who it was.

“Dean?” He whispered, unable to believe his eyes. His husband stared back at him for a moment before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around him.

“I’m home, baby,” Dean said against his neck. “I’m finally home.”

His voice was the last thing that Castiel heard before everything went dark.


	2. Chapter 2

When Castiel came to, everyone was gathered around him, all looking concerned and shocked. His head was in Dean's lap.

"There he is," Dean murmured, running his fingers through his hair. "Are you okay?"

Castiel stared up at his husband, unsure of what to do. He sat up and shook his head, trying to clear it. How could this happen? After years of hoping and praying for Dean to come home to him, he finally moved on, then he shows up at their door? What kind of fucked up twist of fate was this? He lloked up, trying to find Crowley, but he was standing away from the others, not looking at him.

"Maybe we should go," Sam said, staring at his brother. "Dean and Cas have a lot to talk about."

Everyone agreed quietly and started to gather their things. Castiel stood to walk them to the door, but also to get away from Dean for a moment. He thanked everyone for coming as they left and caught Crowley's hand.

"Please don't go," He whispered. He was confused and worried about where this left them. Crowley tugged his hand away lightly.

"You two need to talk. Call me tomorrow."

"Okay." Crowley kissed his cheek before he walked out the door. Castiel closed it behind him and leaned against it. When he turned, Dean was watching him from the living room door way.

"You and Crowley, huh?"

"Dean–" Castiel started, but Dean held up a hand, smiling sadly.

"I get it. Should we sit or...?"

"Yeah."

They sat on the couch together, but it felt wrong so Castiel moved to the chair next to it. They used to be so natural and comfortable, but now it was just awkward.

"What happened?" Castiel finally asked. "Where have you been for the last five years?"

"Some guy at that car show asked me to take a look at an old Corvette he had. On my way home, I got into an accident."

"And what? You just forgot about our life together? You forgot everything that happened since we were sixteen?" Castiel demanded, feeling the familiar burning behind his eyelids. 

"I forgot everything," Dean said. "I was in a coma for months, then when I woke up I didn't have any memory of who I was."

"Then what?" Castiel asked. He needed to know everything that had happened since the day that Dean went missing.

"I spent over a year in the hospital between the coma and the physical therapy. After I got out I found a job busing tables a diner, started dating a waitress. But it never felt right. Something was missing. Things started to come back to me slowly, like I would see something and remember a trip I took when I was six. Then, I started to remember you, us, but not every thing about us. I started therapy and eventually everything came back." Dean looked down at his hands. "What about you?"

"I looked for you," Castiel said quietly. "I checked every hospital between here and where you were. I went the police station every day for updates. I spent so much time looking, I forgot that I had a life outside of it. Crowley was the only one that didn't try to make me be Castiel again."

"How long have you guys been..." Dean waved his hand, not wanting to say it.

"Almost two years," Castiel looked up at Dean. "I thought you were dead. I waited for so long for sign that you weren't and I loved you so much, but I was so tired of being alone."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to leave you. I never would have-"

"I know." Cas rubbed his forehead. "I need time to think, to process all of this."

"I understand." They stood up at the same time. Castiel hesitated before he wrapped his arms around Dean.

He still felt the same in his arms, warm and solid and strong. He felt safe and loved when Dean hugged him back. He smelled different, not like the oil, sweat, and sunlight that used to cling to his skin. Castiel was so happy to see him again, to know that he was safe and alive and whole, but at the same time, he was lost. He loved Crowley, almost as much as he loved Dean, if not more. They were good together. What was he supposed to do?

"You can stay in the guest room, if you want. There's no need for you to pay for a hotel."

"Alright." Castiel gave him a weak smile before he went back to the kitchen. He looked at the dishes left behind on the table for a long moment before turning the light off and walking away from it. He would take care of them in the morning when he felt less like his world had just began and ended all at once.

Once he was changed and settled into his bed, he picked up his phone to text Crolwey.

Can we meet tomorrow? He bit his lip as he hit send. He got an answer a moment later.

Of course. When and where? Castiel suggested their favorite coffee place outside of town and Crowley agreed.

I love you.

Castiel fell asleep waiting for Crowley's response.

~*~

Dean flicked on the light in the guest bedroom and dropped his bag on the floor. he looked around, shocked and saddened.

Pictures of him littered every surface. From framed ones that used to hang on the walls to piles of missing persons flyers. Castiel must have put them all there to avoid having to look at them and be reminded every day that Dean was no longer there.

Dean carefully moved the pictures from the bed so that he would have a place to lay down and stared at the ceiling.

He hadn't even too into account the chance that Cas had moved on. He just assumed when he got his memories back that he would be there waiting for him. And with Crowley? He always knew that the other man had feelings for Cas, but he always kept his distance. Until Dean went missing, that was.

All that matters is that Cas is happy, Dean reminded himself. If it had been Castiel that went missing, Dean would have been a miserable shell. He was glad that Cas found someone that made him want to live again.

With that in his head, he made a decision. If Castiel decided that he wanted to stay with Crowley, Dean wouldn't fight. He would sign whatever he needed to, he would leave town, whatever made things easier. He couldn't hurt Cas again.


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel left early the next morning, thankful that Crowley was also and an early riser and that Dean hadn’t woken up yet.

Crowley was already at their usual table when he arrived, looking over the paper and nursing a cup of coffee. He didn’t stand to kiss Castiel good morning like he typically did and it broke his heart.

“Good morning,” Castiel said, taking his seat across from him.

“Morning,” Crowley closed the paper and looked at him. “How are you?”

“I don’t know.” Castiel reached out and touched Crowley’s hand. “How are we?”

“Castiel,” Crowley started, pulling his hand away. Castiel felt his face fall and he bit the inside of his cheek.

“Oh,” He said quietly, looking down at the table. Crowley sighed quietly.

“He’s your husband, Castiel.”

“So that’s it? I’m just supposed to forget the last two years and how much I love you and run back into his arms?” Castiel asked, not looking up at Crowley so that he wouldn't see the tears threating to fall from his eyes.

“That’s up to you,” Crowley said, “but until you decide what you want, we can’t be together. If you choose me, then I’ll help you find a divorce lawyer. If you choose Dean, we’ll forget everything.”

Castiel cringed at the word divorce. His parents had gone through a nasty divorce his Junior year, after which his mother moved to Europe with her boyfriend and he never heard from her again. He and Dean had promised to never do that to each other. But that was before Dean went missing and Castiel fell for someone else.

“I don’t know what I want,” He finally said. Crowley nodded.

“I didn’t expect you to.” He finished his coffee and glanced at the clock behind Castiel’s head. “I have to get work. I’ll talk to you soon?” Castiel nodded numbly. Crowley left without another word - he didn’t kiss Castiel goodbye.

Castiel felt the tears burning in his eyes and tried to hold them back as he walked out of the cafe. He called the library on his way home and feigned sick, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to hold it together all day. Dean was up and moving around when he came in, putting away the dishes that Castiel had left the night before, all of them freshly washed and dried.

“Hey,” He said, smiling brightly. “I wasn’t sure where you went, but I made pancakes. Chocolate chip.”

That was all Castiel could take. A few years ago, all Castiel would have wished for was to have his husband smiling at him in the kitchen and offering up his favorite breakfast. Of course, a few years ago Castiel hadn’t been madly in love with the person who had just broken his heart. The sob tore out of his chest before he could stop it.

In a flash, Dean’s arms were around him. Castiel buried his face in his t-shirt and cried, all the shock and hurt and love and pain that he had been trying to keep bottled up finally pouring out. Dean squeezed him tight and whispered comforting words in his ear, but it only made Castiel cry harder. When he finally calmed down, Dean pulled back a little and wiped his thumbs under Cas’s eyes. He didn’t ask if Castiel was okay, because he already knew the answer.

“Go lay down,” He said, softly. “It’ll help.”

Castiel nodded and went to his bedroom. He stripped out of his suit and pulled on a comfortable pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt. He stretched out and closed his eyes, trying to quiet his mind. He fell asleep wondering how he was ever supposed to choose between the two loves of his life.

He was shaken awake a few hours later. He cracked an eye open and saw Dean kneeling beside the bed.

“You won’t sleep tonight if you don’t get up,” He said, resisting the urge to run his fingers through Castiel sleep mussed hair. He looked away when Cas sat up and stretched, revealing a strip of skin on his stomach, causing his eyes to land on the picture on dresser. He stood and walked over to pick it up.

“You kept our wedding picture?” He asked quietly.

“Of course I did.” Castiel sounded mildly offended and Dean quickly started to back pedal.

“No, I mean, every other picture of me was in the guest bedroom - which I totally understand, by the way - but this one is still here.”

“I couldn’t bear to move it,” Castiel admitted. “It hurt to look at it, but it hurt worse not to.”

Dean looked down at the picture again, unsure of what to say. Castiel pulled himself out of bed and stood beside him, looking at their young, smiling faces.

“I can’t believe we didn’t try to dress up a little more,” He said, looking at faded black t-shirt and jeans that Dean was wearing in the picture and the similar clothes he had on.

“We were on a road trip. It was spur of the moment.” Castiel smiled.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than I was that day. I don’t know if I’ll ever be that happy again.”

Dean looked over at him at the same time that Castiel looked up. Unable to stop himself, he let his eyes flick down to look his lips before meeting his eyes again. He leaned down slowly and pressed their lips together.

Castiel was still for a moment before he started to kiss back. Dean put the picture down and wrapped his arms around Castiel’s waist. Cas’s arms wrapped around his neck as he allowed Dean to deepen the kiss. Dean stepped back and sat on the bed, pulling Castiel into his lap. He slipped his fingers under his shirt and rubbed his hand over the smooth skin of his back.

“I can’t,” Castiel whispered, pulling away. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”

“Cas-”

“Can you please just give me a second alone?” Castiel asked, not looking at him. What was he thinking?

“Yeah. I’ll- Yeah,” Dean said lamely, standing up and leaving the room.

Dean sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands. Why had he done that? Castiel had had a breakdown in their kitchen just a few hours ago and here he was trying to get into his pants. What was wrong with him. After a few long, silent minutes, he heard the bedroom door open and Castiel emerged.

“Cas, I’m sorry I-”

“It’s okay,” Castiel interupted. “I mean, it’s not okay, but it’s not not okay.”

Dean nodded, though he really wasn’t sure what he meant. He noticed the duffle bag on Castiel’s shoulder.

“Where are you going?” He asked, his stomach clenching at the thought of Castiel spending the night at Crowley’s. Cas tugged awkwardly at the strap.

“I’m going to stay with Gabriel for a few days,” He said. “I need time to process everything. And then I have to decide-” He stopped and shook his head. “I just need some time away from everything.”

“I understand.” Castiel needed to be alone to make his choice, not worrying about falling into bed with Dean or meeting up with Crowley.

Dean watched Castiel drive away from the living room window, feeling cold and empty. Why did this have to happen to them. They been so happy once, more in love than anyone else in the world. Why did Dean have to ruin everything by going to that stupid car show, then not coming back.

The sun was starting to set before moved away from the window. He walked into the kitchen and pulled a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet. He had a feeling that he already knew who Castiel was going to choose.

~*~

Castiel stood under the warm spray of the shower, wishing that he could stay there forever. Unfortunately, the water gradually began to run colder and he had to shut it off.

He dried himself off and pulled on his favorite hoodie and sweat pants before climbing underneath the covers of Gabriel’s guest bed. A few minutes later his brother’s stocky frame landed on top of him. Castiel struggled to sit up under his weight.

“Gabriel! What the hell?”

“I didn’t invite you here so you could use up all my hot water and throw yourself a pity party.”

“You didn’t invite me at all,” Castiel mumbled.

“Exactly.” Castiel rolled his eyes and pulled the blankets back over his head. A moment later, Gabriel’s head appeared, too.

“Okay, tell me what’s wrong. I haven’t seen you this way since Dean went missing.”

“Dean’s home.” Gabriel’s eyes widened in shock.

“Since when?”

“Two nights ago.” Gabe stared at him for a long moment.

“I think that you should start from the beginning,” Gabriel said, climbing into the bed with him. “Tell me everything.”

Castiel did. Gabriel listened to every single detail of what Castiel told him and didn’t say anything when started crying again.

“I thought Dean was dead, Gabriel. I looked for him, I sent out missing persons bulletins, I put stuff out online, I did everything that I could think of to find him. After three years, I just knew that he wasn’t coming home. Then when I finally work up the courage to actually start a life with someone new, he just appears at the front door.” He turned on his side to look at Gabriel.

“I always thought that Dean would be it for me, you know? I thought that he was the love of my life and that we’d get married and have kids and be together forever. But I love Crowley now, too. He understands me in a way that Dean didn’t.”

“What do you mean? I thought that you and Dean were the perfect couple.” Cas sighed.

“Dean was my opposite, loud and outgoing and brave. He made me laugh all the time and what we had was passionate and deep and everything I ever wanted. But with Crowley it just so easy. I don’t have worry about him dragging to theme parks to go on terrifying rides or tossing my book in the floor while I’m reading in bed to initiate sex. We’re both just laid back people and I love that." Castiel rubbed a hand over his face. "Dean kissed me earlier and it didn't feel the same. I didn't anything. How could I go from being so in love with him for years to feeling nothing at all?"

"You fell in love with someone else," Gabriel said. "It happens, Castiel. It doesn't make you a bad person."

Castiel didn't respond. If that were true, then why did he feel like he was the worst person in the world.

"Do you know what you're going to do?" Gabriel asked. 

"Yeah," He sniffled, feeling tears burning his eyes again. "I think I do."


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel spent a few days at Gabriel's trying to come up with a way to explain how he felt. How could he possibly say "I love you, but I love him more," in a way that didn't sound so horrible? 

Eventually he knew that he had no choice but to go home and talk to Dean and Crowley. His day went by too fast and by the time he pulled up for his house, he still didn't know what to say.

Dean was in the kitchen, heating something on the stove. He gave Castiel a little smile when he saw him standing in the doorway. "Hey."

"Hey," Castiel said, shifting a little, then tilting his head toward the living room. "Can we talk?"

"Of course." Dean turned the stove off and followed him into the living room. They sat down on the couch beside each other. They were quiet for a long time before Dean spoke.

"You're choosing him, aren't you?" He asked, softly, looking at his hands.

"I'm sorry," Castiel said, taking his hand. "I love him, Dean."

"What about us?"' Dean asked before he could stop himself. "Did you ever even love me?"

"Of course I did. I've loved you since I was fourteen years old. I thought that you were the love of my life. But people change, I've changed. I'm not the same guy that loved to go on surprise roadtrips or stay out all night. I love you, Dean, I'm just not in love with you anymore."

"And what is it about him that's so special?" Dean asked, pulling his hand away. He didn't mean to sound so cold, but he was hurt and angry.

"We're just better together, Dean. I'm ready to settle down and start a family. He is, too."

"I could do that," Dean said. "We were talking about having kids before I went missing."

"But did you really want that?" Castiel asked. "You don't like staying still, Dean. You like weekend trips out of state and doing all of these crazy things, but you can't do that with kids."

Dean didn't say anything. Castiel was right, he wasn't ready to settle down completely yet. He still had so much that he wanted to do and see. He hadn't thought of that when Castiel brought up having kids. He was just so eager to please Castiel that he would have given him anything, even if he wasn't sure what he wanted.

"If I hadn't gone missing, do you think things would have been different?"

"I don't know," Castiel answered. "I loved you so much, but we were having problems, Dean. We were fighting, we wanted different things. Maybe we could have fixed things or maybe we were just high school sweethearts that were trying to hang on to their first loves and would have ended up here no matter what."

"You're right. Sometimes after we fought, I used to think that the only reason we were still together was because everyone expected us to be."

"I did, too. But we always worked things out and we were happy. But after you disappeared, after I started dating Crowley, I realized that being happy sometimes didn't mean that we belonged together." Dean nodded.

"All I want is for you to be happy. If he's what you need, I'll do whatever I have to make sure that you are." Castiel wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Thank you, Dean," He said. "I'm so sorry that things turned out this way."

"Me, too," Dean said, hugging him back. When the hug ended, he let out a sad laugh. "I don't think I know how not to love you."

"I know how you feel. But you'll meet someone and you'll see that you're not in love with me anymore either."

"I doubt that."

"Trust me," Castiel said. He kissed Dean's cheek and stood up. "I'll call you tomorrow and we'll decide how we're going to do this."

"Okay. I'll be here."

Castiel went to get some more clothes out of his room and grabbed a few other things he would need before driving across town to Crowley's apartment building. He took a deep breath and went inside, glad that Crowley hadn't asked for his key back. He did knock on the apartment door, just in case.

Crowley opened the door and looked almost surprised to see Castiel there. Castiel felt tears starting to build up in his eyes when he saw him.

"Do you still have the number for that divorce lawyer?" He asked, his cracking horribly.

Crowley pulled him into the apartment and wrapped his arms tightly around Castiel's body. Castiel cried against his shoulder, sad that a huge part of his life was ending, but he knew that a bigger, better part was just beginning.

The next morning, Castiel woke up alone in Crowley's bed. He called for him, unsure of what time it was. He hoped that he hadn't left for work yet. A few seconds later Crowley walked into the room holding two cups of coffee. He put them down on the side table and sat down beside Castiel.

"Good morning" He said, leaning down to kiss his forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," Castiel said, laying his hand on Crowley's bearded cheek. "I'm glad you're still here."

"I wasn't about to leave you alone after last night without making sure that you were okay."

Castiel smiled and kissed him. It hadn't been that long since their last kiss, but it felt like it had been forever. Crowley kissed him back before pulling away and resting their foreheads together.

"I love you, Castiel," He said quietly.

"I love you, too. So much."

They had breakfast together before they both left for work. Castiel told Crowley that he wanted to meet Dean for lunch to talk about the divorce and what they both wanted to do.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Crowley asked.

"I think that it would be better if it was just us. I don't want to make it more uncomfortable than its already going to be."

"I understand. Call me if you need anything."

"I will," Castiel kissed him. "I'll see you tonight."

Dean and Castiel met for lunch at a small diner that they used to go to. Dean had grease on his shirt and jeans from where he'd started working in the garage again. When it became obvious that Dean wasn't coming home, Castiel had sold the garage to Benny, knowing that Dean would rather give it to his best friend than sell it to a stranger. He was glad that Dean was getting back to work.

"Do you want the house?" Castiel asked, picking at his fries. Crowley had been talking about finding a new place for months, dropping not so subtle hints that he wanted Castiel to move in with him but Castiel couldn't bring himself to sell the house that he and Dean had built their life in.

"I don't know if I'm going to hang around," Dean said, not looking up from his burger.

"Please don't do that," Castiel said. "Don't leave again. Dean, the last few years have been hard for everyone, Sam especially. He needs you close."

"But I can't be close to you. Not now," Dean said. "All I want are my things. I don't need anything else."

"Okay," Castiel said, softly. "We can meet with the lawyers tomorrow if you want and just get it over with."

"That's probably for the best," Dean agreed. Castiel nodded and pushed his plate away, his appetite gone completely.

The divorce was quick and easy since they had nothing to fight over. Dean signed the house completely over to Castiel so that he could sell it if he wanted to. He got the items that he wanted packed up and in his car a few days later.

"I wish you would stay," Sam said, leaning against the wall while Dean double checked that he had everything. He had just gotten his brother back, he wasn't ready to loose him again.

"I'll be back sometime. I just need to move on before I can see Cas with someone else. I'll call you, though. I promise."

"Make sure that you do." Sam hugged him. "Take care of yourself."

"I will," Dean patted his back and stepped away. He waved one last time and left town again, unsure of what he was going to do next.


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm glad you're here."

Dean rolled his eyes as his brother repeated the sentiment for the thousandth time. He had been back in town for a few hours and that was all Sam seemed to know how to say.

"You're getting married, Sam, did you think I'd miss that?"

"No, its just been a long time."

Dean couldn't disagree. He hadn't seen Sam in person since he left town five years before. They had talked on the phone and video chatted, but that was as close as they had gotten.

"So, um, did you invite them?" Dean asked, shifting a little.

"Of course we did. Cas and Crowley are still our friends, Dean. Some of our best friends." 

"Yeah, I know. I just had ask, I guess."

People started to show up then and the conversation ended. Sam went to stand with Jess and greet their guests. Dean smiled at the sight of them, then went to get himself a drink.

He didn't recognize most of the people that came in, old college friends of Sam and Jess's and business associates. He brightened when he saw Jo and Benny come in, followed by Charlie who had a pretty brunette on her arm.

Jo nearly crushed his ribs when she hugged him, then punched his shoulder as hard as she could.

"Do you not own a phone?" She demanded.

"I'm sorry," Dean said, rubbing his arm.

"You should be," She said, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "How are you?"

"I've been okay. I tried dating, but nothing's worked out so far." There had been a few people that Dean had really cared for, but they weren't what he really wanted. What he wanted had just walked into the room.

Dean watched from across the room as Castiel hugged Sam and Jess. He looked good, content. When his eyes met Dean's, his smile changed a little. He said something to Jess before walking in Dean's direction.

"I'll be right back," Dean said, cutting off the story thatnjo was telling. He walked around them and met Castiel halfway.

"Hey."

"Hi," Castiel said, giving Dean a small smile. They stood looking at each other awkwardly for a while.

"How have you been?" They asked at the same time. Cas nodded to Dean, indicating for him to go first.

"I've been okay. I moved to Topeka after everything and got a job at one of the garages there."

"That's great," Castiel said.

"What about you? Sam said that you and Crowley got married."

"Yeah, about four years ago, right after Crowley started the firm with Sam. We have a son."

"Really?"

"Yes, he's four. Crowley's picking him up from my parents' now, they'll be here soon."

Dean nodded. He knew that Cas wanted to have kids, but Sam never mentioned that he had one. Dean was about to ask more about him when Cas asked the dreaded question.

"Are you seeing anyone?"

"I was," Dean answered, scratching at the back of his neck. "We broke up a few weeks ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Dean was, too. His relationship with Lisa was the best one he had been in since the divorce. She was the first person he loved after Cas, and he loved her son, but he still wasn't sure that he was ready to settle down. Ending things had been best for all three of them.

"Papa!" 

The loud voice drowned out every other sound in the room. Dean watched as Castiel kneeled down to catch the boy that came barrelling through the crowd. Castiel scooped him up and settled him on his hip, then pressed a kiss to his hair.

"Dean, this is Gavin. Gavin, can you say hi to Dean?" The little boy looked at him, then hid his face him Castiel's neck. "Oh, you're going to be shy now?"

"He's been acting like that all day, apparently," Crowley said, coming to stand beside Castiel. "He doesn't like preschool." He nodded to Dean in greeting, and Dean nodded back. They didn't speak.

"He'll get used to it," Castiel said, rubbing Gavin's back comfortingly.

"I'm going to go see Charlie," Dean excused. "Its was good to see you guys. Congratulations on everything."

"Thank you," Castiel said. He smiled, but there was a sadness in his eyes, pity. Dean had to get away from it.

His eyes kept wandering back to Castiel and Crowley all night. Gavin was running around to Jo and Benny and Charlie, obviously over his shyness. Castiel leaned into Crowley, nuzzling his neck occasionally. 

Dean realized then what he had missing all along. He and Castiel had been in love, but it hadn't been that like that. He wasn't sure that he had ever looked at Castiel the way Crowley did. This was what Castiel meant when he told Dean that he was better with Crowley.

Later that night when the party was over, Dean stepped out onto the backporch and dialed the phone number he knew better than his own. Dean couldn't help but smile when a sleepy voice answered the phone.

"Hey, Lis. I know it's late, but I wanted to talk to you. I'm ready to come home."


End file.
